Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Know Thy Enemy - Charles Keating

Charles Keating
Born December 4, 1923 in Cincinnati, Ohio to Adelle and Charles Humphrey Keating, Charles was a bit of a jock, winning awards for his breaststroke in college, and whoring himself out to just about every team he could in high school. He dropped out of school in 1941, and enlisted in the Navy. As it turns out, Chuck wasn’t the brightest bulb in the bunch. He narrowly averted being enlisted in WWII, but managed to crash a Hellcat, nonetheless. In line with his white bread upbringing, he married a white lady from Cincinnati, and they had five kids.

His foray into assholery began in 1956, when he joined a group of uptight Catholic men to fight the dangers of pornography. In 1958 he testified in front of the House Judiciary committee on mail-order pornography, further solidifying his position as a stick in the mud. It was here that he first blamed pornography on the pinkos. Also in 1958, Chuck established the Citizens for Decent Literature (aka Citizens for Decency through Law).

In the mid-60s Mr. Clean, as he was dubbed, produced a racy film that used alliteration to rail against the ills of smut. The film was called Perversion for Profit. At the height of the sexual revolution, Chuck proved just how uncool he could be, when he accepted a position on Tricky Dick’s Commission on Obscenity and Pornography. His was the sole dissenting vote, when the commission decided that pornography did not degrade the morals of adults or cause crime. He further proved just how lame he was when he wrote his dissenting report with help from fellow DC douche bag, Pat Buchanan.

After his time on the commission, Chuck denounced Playboy, Oui, Russ Meyer, Larry Flynt, and a series of local adult theatres. In the late-80s he was the center of a banking scandal that would land future GOP presidential candidate, John McCain in the unfortunate “Keating Five.” Poor Chuck ended up serving time in federal prison for this and other indiscretions. He’s still alive, but no one, accept maybe his family, could give a shit.

All of this information was gleaned from the Interweb, and has not been fact checked, either by the subject or the author. In other words, don’t take our word for it. This post originally appeared on blog.AthleticModelGuild.com

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